Why God never got Tenure

1. Only one first-author publication …
2. …in Hebrew.
3. No references.
4. It wasn’t peer reviewed.
5. There are some doubts that he wrote it himself.
6. No Ph.D. diploma.
7. May be true he created the world, but what has he done since then?
8. Scientific community has never been able to replicate his results.
9. Never applied to the IRB for permission to use human subjects.
10. When experiment went awry, tried to cover it by drowning subjects.
11. When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, deleted them from sample.
12. Rarely came to class and just told students to read his book.
13. Had son teach certain classes.
14. Expelled first two students for learning too much.
15. Only had ten requirements, but most of his students failed them.
16. Office hours infrequent and usually held on mountaintop.
17. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.